Embrace Your Feminine Side

"The Birth of Venus" by Botticelli, tempera on canvas, 1485. Image in the Public Domain

Earlier this week I attended a “glamour” night at our school where students, their mother or a female mentor, and female teachers learned about beauty and a healthy self image.    My friend and colleague organized this event as one of the activities leading up to prom.

It was so much fun!  I learned about skincare and a healthy self image, got a great makeover, a lot of compliments, and felt beautiful inside and out.  (I also won a cool prize – some great eye make- up!).   It was also fun to see the big smiles on the student’s faces and hear their squeals of laughter.  There was plenty of positive female energy in the room.

 “Is God a Man or a Woman?  The answer to this question is neither  –  God is That.  But if you must give God a gender, God is more female than male, for he is contained in She.”  ~  Amma (Mata Amritanandamayi Devi)

Today is Mother’s Day and maybe the only day of the year that we officially celebrate “feminine” nature and qualities.  This is wonderful, but why does it have to be limited to only one day a year?  Generally in western culture male traits such as achievement, power, dominance etc. are mainly celebrated.  Femininity is often considered weak or not important

In order to be fully empowered and truly enjoy our lives, it is necessary to be whole, and that includes balancing our feminine and masculine nature and energies, regardless of our sex!  Just because you’re female does not mean you’re feminine, and just because you’re male does not mean you can’t have feminine qualities.

Here are 7 tips to help you embrace your feminine nature:

1.  Be Nurturing

“We’ve got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can’t just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it’s going to get on by itself. You’ve got to keep watering it. You’ve got to really look after it and nurture it”.  ~  John Lennon

Since its Mother’s Day, I’ll start with this because basically this is what a mother does, she “nurtures” others.  Most pictures and advertisements for mother’s day depict a beautiful young woman with a healthy baby or children.  The subliminal message is that you’re only a mother if you give birth to a child.  This is ridiculous – you do not need to give birth to be a mother!  Regardless of whether you physically give birth, adopt, foster, mentor, teach, inspire, support, advocate for others (the list is endless …) – you are a mother!

For most women, nurturing others (however you chose to do this) is deeply rewarding.  Traditionally women were caregivers, and nature has designed it that way.   The problem arises because a lot of women give too much of themselves and deplete themselves.  It is important to nurture others, and enjoy the deep fulfillment, relationships, and special bonds formed, without losing your innate “self”.  I love teaching and coaching, and this fulfils my “nurturing” nature.  Find out what works for you and don’t be afraid to express your nurturing qualities in the way you want. 

2.  Extreme Self-Care

In order to be able to nurture others, and enjoy the blessings this brings, you need to remember to nurture and take care of yourself first.  Take care of your body, because this is the vehicle that enables you to experience life.  Eat a healthy diet and get plenty of exercise and rest.  See a doctor or a holistic practitioner when necessary.  Don’t feel guilty about pampering yourself.  Go get a manicure, pedicure, massage, or a facial.  Maybe treat yourself to a spa day once in a while and indulge in all of these!   Learn how to take care of your skin and wear make-up.

Part of being feminine is being attractive and having good self esteem.  What’s wrong with that?  It’s not so much for others as for you.  I eat healthy and practice yoga all the time, it’s is just a way of life for me.   My secret indulgence is getting a facial and a massage.  It is so luxurious, my skin and body feels and looks great, and I am rejuvenated and radiant.  Discover your secret indulgence and pamper yourself once in a while.

3.  Love your Body

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical”.  ~ Sophia Loren

Your body is a sacred temple and you should respect and treat it that way.  Love and accept your body the way it is and be grateful for the gifts it gives – touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound.  Each person’s body is unique and we all have our own strange idiosyncrasies.   Most glamour magazines airbrush and retouch photographs to create an impossible to achieve, idealized female body image.  This is very unhealthy!

Many naturally beautiful celebrities and stars have recently spoken up about this, and have even refused to let their photos be retouched.  The May issue of Harpers Bazaar featured article is a great example.  Any “retouched” photo implies that you are not beautiful enough or good enough as you are.  What does that say to the general female population and how does this affect their self-esteem when even beautiful stars need to be “retouched” in their photos?

4.  Surrender and Be Receptive

Woman is a creative vessel that births children, art, music, novels, plays, new businesses … the list is endless.  In order to give birth to anything, you have to surrender and be receptive to what is trying to be born through your vehicle of a body.  The act of conception and gestating a baby is a receptive act and requires surrender to the process.

Same thing with any creative idea! The idea is conceived, forms and swirls about in your mind and you create rough drafts or sketches.  Then the gestation begins and you experiment with different materials and techniques, trying to create in physical form what you have conceived in your mind’s eye.  You start working, and many changes and unexpected developments occur in the process.  Finally your artwork is complete and birthed into the world and takes on a life of its own.   Learn to surrender and let go more.  You will be amazed at how liberating this can be when you don’t have to control everything.  It is a great release!

5.  Be Creative

“Remember, if you do the things you ought to do when you ought to do them, then some day you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them. …Whatever you do or dream you can do begin it.  Boldness has genius, power and magic in it” ~  Mary Kay Ash

Following on from the previous point about surrender and receptivity, woman is designed to be creative and bring new life (in whatever form that may be) into the world.  Generally we love to be creative:  we throw an extra dash of spice in a recipe, buy a new throw cushion for the sofa, rearrange the furniture, get a new hairstyle etc. 

Fully embrace your creativity as this will make your life more joyful.  If you feel like drawing, get some paper and a pencil and draw something.  If you love to sew, get a sewing machine and make something.  Scrapbook, paint, write, make music and let your creative energies express through you.

6.  Listen to your Intuition

I know it’s a cliché but women are generally very intuitive.  Your intuition is that small, still voice that speaks to you from within or the gut feeling you sometimes get about a person or situation.  Sometimes your intuition roars!  Unfortunately many women ignore their intuition.  I know because I used to be one of them!   I was always naturally very intuitive, but when I was younger I ignored these feelings or stuffed them away.

Once, many years ago (in my former life before I evolved into an artist, life coach, and educator) I went for an interview at a well respected company.  When I pulled into the parking lot I suddenly felt sick, and had a feeling that I should not even go for the interview.  In those days I shrugged it off to nonsensical thinking.  So in I went, aced the interview, and got the job.  Needless to say, a year later, due to no fault of my own I was fired.  (It was actually a blessing in disguise because we had just bought our first condo, so I got to stay home for a few months, decorate, be creative and rejuvenate). 

Everyone is intuitive, and you can develop this skill if you desire.  Intuition involves “seeing” or “sensing” things that are not necessarily visible.  The seat of intuition is the third “eye” or ajna chakra.  A good technique to develop your third eye or intuition involves lighting a candle and placing it at eye level.  Then alternate looking at the flame with your eyes open and closed.  The trick is to feel like you are looking at the candle flame through the third “eye” between the eyebrows.   Stare at the flame with your eyes open, feeling like you are looking with your third “eye”.  Then close your eyes, and again look at the flame through your third “eye”.  Repeat this, alternating with eyes open and closed for 21 minutes.  You can sit either cross legged on the floor or on a chair, whichever is more comfortable.

7.  Be Graceful and Elegant

“I think a woman gets more if she acts feminine”  ~  Nancy Regan

Think of Princess Grace of Monaco, Jacqueline Kennedy, or Princess Diana.  They all epitomize femininity, grace, beauty, and elegance.  They were adored by millions of people (both men and women) worldwide and were not afraid to show their feminine side.  This does not mean they were not strong, capable, compassionate, and accomplished women also.  In fact, they used their femininity well to serve their needs and the needs of others.

There is no reason why women cannot fully embrace their feminine nature and be all they wish to be.  You can be feminine, beautiful, smart, intellectual, and powerful at the same time.  If someone is threatened by such a woman, they have self esteem issues, so don’t worry about it.  You don’t have to ditch the jeans and t-shirts and wear dresses and high heels all the time as that is unrealistic.  Sometimes a make-up free day lounging around the house in your favorite old sweats is just what the doctor ordered.   However part of the fun of being a woman is being able to get dressed up and look beautiful.   As the old saying goes “Use it or lose it!”.  

Feminine is Fabulous

It is important to keep a sense of humor about the whole process and not get caught up in sexual stereotypes or try to be perfect at everything all the time.  Learn to embrace your feminine and masculine qualities and try to find balance in both.  Sometimes you do need to act more masculine, and sometimes it is better to be more feminine.  Overall if you can balance your male and female energies and know when to act more masculine or feminine you will see great improvements in your life.  Experiment and see what works best for you!

How do you embrace your feminine side?

Do you feel your energy tends to be more masculine or feminine?

Just for laughs:

“I was the first woman to burn my bra – it took the fire department four days to put it out”.  ~  Dolly Parton

Related posts:

1. Rise of the Feminine Spirit I haven’t been blogging much recently because I’m still in...
2. Embrace Completion Consciousness If you call yourself a seeker or are interested in...
3. Yummy Yin! Sounds like a drink doesn’t it?  You can almost imagine...
4. What Makes You Come Alive? What is your purpose and passion in life?  What do...
5. Empowering Yourself: One Step at a Time Guest Post by Raja Kumara Elohim  Empowering Your Soul … ...